


just guys being gays (losers club chatfic)

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Bisexual Patricia Blum Uris, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Chatting & Messaging, Confused Stanley Uris, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Mike Hanlon, Gay Stanley Uris, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Lesbian Audra Phillips, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Swearing, Texting, because theyre stupid, but not that much angst, cursing, everyone’s pretty ooc, im not used to cursing so some messages might be a little awkward, like a lot of pining, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22733398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: stupid jokes that arent funny in the form of messages(some angst too but shhhh)trigger warnings will be at the beginning of the chapter if needed!
Relationships: Audra Phillips/Patricia Blum Uris, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	1. sucks to suck :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> saturday moroning :)
> 
> i have no idea how to be funny or write fanfics so please bare (🐻) with me

(5:18 AM, Saturday)

**Bill Denbrough has created a chat.**

**Bill Denbrough added Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, and 4 others.**

**Bill Denbrough named the chat _The Losers Club_.**

_** The Losers Club**_

**Richie** **Tozier:** WERE BACK BABEY

**Bill Denbrough:** heck yeah we are

**Richie Tozier:** “heck”

**Bill Denbrough:** i said what i said

**Richie Tozier:** ok 👁👄👁

**Bill Denbrough:** ew wtf is that

**Richie Tozier:** :)

**Bill Denbrough:** valid!!!

**Richie Tozier:** yah

 **Richie Tozier:** n e way

 **Richie Tozier:** make me admin

**Bill Denbrough:** never again

 **Bill Denbrough:** youre literally the reason we had to make a new group chat

 **Bill Denbrough:** you kicked everyone and didnt add us back

**Richie Tozier:** thats not true

 **Richie Tozier:** i didnt kick eds

**Bill Denbrough:** of course you didnt

**Richie Tozier:** ehats that supposed to mean

**Bill Denbrough:** .

**Richie Tozier:** h

 **Richie Tozier:** please billy i wont do it again :(

**Bill Denbrough:** unlikely

**Stanley Uris:** Do not make Richie admin.

**Bill Denbrough:** wasnt planning on it

 **Bill Denbrough:** also hi stan! good morning!! :D

**Stanley Uris:** Good morning. :)

**Richie Tozier:** hahA GAYY

 **Richie Tozier:** also

 **Richie Tozier:** why didnt anyone say good morning to me :’(

**Stanley Uris:** I am very much straight, Richie, we’ve been through this, keep up.

 **Stanley Uris:** Also

 **Stanley Uris:** Fuck you, that’s why.

**Bill Denbrough:** stan quoting vines with perfect capitulization and punctueaction is very intimidateing 

**Stanley Uris:** How the fuck did you misspell three words in one sentence?

**Bill Denbrough:** brain hurt. wrote all day yesterday. big words. writer tingz

**Stanley Uris:** Valid, I guess.

**Richie Tozier:** ALL DAY EVERY DAY IS A HOLIDAY

**Mike Hanlon:** WE’RE ALRIGHT, 24/7

**Stanley Uris:** Good morning, Mike. I love you, but what the fuck.

**Bill Denbrough:** good morning mike :)

**Richie Tozier:** OOOOOO STAN LOVES YOU MIKEY

**Stanley Uris:** Shut up, you know what I meant.

**Mike Hanlon:** djkfkskf good morning

 **Mike Hanlon:** why are you guys up so early?

 **Mike Hanlon:** on a saturday too

**Stanley Uris:** I’m always up this early.

**Bill Denbrough:** georgie woke me up

**Richie Tozier:** GEORGIE I LOVE HIM MWAH MWAH MWAH HES A CUTIE

**Bill Denbrough:** not when he wakes you up at 5 am 😔😔

**Mike Hanlon:** aww that sucks im sorry

**Stanley Uris:** Make sure to sleep some more if you’re still tired.

**Bill Denbrough:** kdksjdk i’ll be fine thank you though

 **Bill Denbrough:** anyway

 **Bill Denbrough:** richie

**Richie Tozier:** hello sir billiam

**Bill Denbrough:** ??? you never wake up this early

**Richie Tozier:** i technically havent woken up yet

**Stanley Uris:** What?

**Richie Tozier:** i didnt sleep woops

**Mike Hanlon:** you pulled an all nighter??

**Richie Tozier:** indeed i did mr micycle

**Mike Hanlon:** mr micycle what-

**Bill** **Denbrough:** why did you pull an all nighter

**Richie** **Tozier:** eddies mom kept me up all night ;)

**Stanley Uris:** Beep beep, Richie.

**Mike Hanlon:** get some sleep, rich :(

**Richie Tozier:** i can try but mrs k is a needy woman if you get what im saying ;))

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** BEEP BEEP ASSHOLE

**Richie Tozier:** good morning to you too my dear eds

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** don’t call me eds

**Bill Denbrough:** good morning eddie

**Mike Hanlon:** good morning!

**Stanley Uris:** Good morning, Eddie.

**Eddie** **Kaspbrak:** bad morning

 **Eddie Kaspbrak:** you guys woke me up >:(

**Mike Hanlon:** sorry about that lol

**Bill Denbrough:** sucks to suck :)

**Mike Hanlon:** DJDKDJDJFJKSJFKS BILL

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** shut up mike you’re gay you literally suck

**Mike Hanlon:** you’re gay too i ???

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** oh shit you’re right

**Stanley Uris:** I’ll be right back.

**Bill Denbrough:** ok stanny!

(6:03 AM, Saturday)

_**Staniel the Maniel! —— > Trashmouth** _

**Staniel the Maniel!:** What’s wrong?

**Trashmouth:** nothing??

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Nope, it’s definitely something. You’re quieter than usual, and you never answered when Bill asked you why you pulled an all-nighter.

**Trashmouth:** i promise nothings wrong

 **Trashmouth:** ok maybe somethings wrong

 **Trashmouth:** but its not a big deal

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Do you wanna talk about it?

**Trashmouth:** not really

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Ok, I won’t push. Let me know if you change your mind or you need something.

**Trashmouth:** will do staniel!!

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Stay safe, Trashmouth.

**Trashmouth:** <3

**Staniel the Maniel!:**...

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** :/

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** <3

(6:07 AM, Saturday)

_**The Losers Club** _

**Richie Tozier:** idc what anyone says

 **Richie Tozier:** satan is a softie and he knows it

**Bill Denbrough:** KSKDJDKJFKSJDKS???

**Richie Tozier:** i meant stan but satan works too ig

**Mike Hanlon:** i always knew satan was a softie <33

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** wbk

**Stanley Uris:** Fuck off.

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** ok softie satan

**Bill Denbrough:** we love you satan :) <3

**Stanley Uris:** :/

 **Stanley Uris:** <3

**Bill Denbrough:** AWWWWWWKSKFKKSK

 **Bill Denbrough:** i feel blessed

**Mike Hanlon:** as you should

**Stanley Uris:** **@Mike Hanlon** :/

 **Stanley Uris:** <3

**Mike Hanlon:** I FEEL BLESSED NOW TOO <33

**Richie Tozier:** why does satan always send the :/ face before swnding a heart

**Stanley Uris:** sending*

**Richie Tozier:** <3

**Stanley Uris:** No.


	2. radical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied chlid abuse  
> tw for panic attacks
> 
> (this went from 1 to 100 very quickly and im sorry for that 🚽)

(8:56 AM, Saturday)

**_The Losers Club_ **

**Beverly Marsh:** wtf why do you guys wake up so early

 **Beverly Marsh:** wait nevermind you already had this conversation 

**Richie Tozier:** good morning beautiful bevvy!

**Beverly Marsh:** good morning radical richie!

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** radical is such a weird word what

**Beverly Marsh:** dont make fun of me :(

 **Beverly Marsh:** you try finding an adjective that describes richie AND starts with an r >:((

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** rabid

**Stanley Uris:** Repulsive and revolting fit Richie well.

**Ben Hanscon:** radiant!!

**Mike Hanlon:** ruthless

**Bill Denbrough:** ratty

**Richie Tozier:** i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

 **Richie Tozier:** ben and bev are the only valid ones

 **Richie Tozier:** also

 **Richie Tozier:** good morning babey ben!

**Ben Hanscom:** good morning radiant richie!

**Eddie** **Kaspbrak:** how are you even awake still richie

**Richie Tozier:** thats a question that cannot be answered atm

**Beverly Marsh:** richie tozier?? missing a chance to make a your mom joke???? i never thought id see the day

**Richie Tozier:** OH SHIT I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE I HAD THE CHANCE

 **Richie Tozier:** fuck im tiref

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** then sleep dumbass

**Richie Tozier:** hrrnajfngnnf

**Ben Hanscom:** please sleep, richie! :(

**Mike Hanlon:** ^

**Beverly Marsh:** ^^

**Bill Denbrough:** ^^^

**Richie Tozier:** :)

(9:02 AM, Saturday)

_**Hypochondriac —— > stan lee**_

~~~~**Hypochondriac:** is richie ok?

**stan lee** **:** Why are you asking?

**Hypochondriac:** i set him up for a your mom joke and he didnt even realize

 **Hypochondriac:** and i figured you would know since you two are best friends

**stan lee:** Why do you care, though? ;)

 **stan lee:** Ew, I’m never using that face again.

**Hypochondriac:** i care because he's my friend and i’m worried

 **Hypochondriac:** and yes please never use that face again it’s too ooc and it hurts my brain

**stan lee:** Not really the answer I was looking for, but whatever. :/

 **stan lee:** I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried too.

 **stan lee:** I checked on him earlier, but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.

**Hypochondriac:** can you check on him again?

**stan lee:** Why not check on him yourself?

**Hypochondriac:** he wouldn’t tell me anything that you don’t already know

 **Hypochondriac:** i’m pretty sure he trusts you more than me

**stan lee:** You’re more important to him than you think, Eddie.

 **stan lee:** But yeah, sure, I’ll check on him again.

**Hypochondriac:** keep me updated if you can

**stan lee:** Sure

**Hypochondriac:** thank you stan <3

**stan lee:** Of course <3

(9:14 AM, Saturday) 

_**Staniel the Maniel! —— > Trashmouth** _

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Hey Rich, are you doing better?

**Trashmouth:** hdjsjdjjsnnsnjd honestky?

 **Trashmouth:** not really

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Do you feel like talking now?

**Trashmouth:** maybr

 **Trashmouth:** idk

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Well, I’m here if or when you do want to talk.

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** In the mean time, is there anything I, or any of the other Losers can do to help?

**Trashmouth:** no i should be finw

**Staniel the Maniel!:** You sure?

**Trashmouth:** actually if its not too mucj to ask

 **Trashmouth:** can i maybe come over

 **Trashmouth:** im tired and i cant sleep because uh yeah my parents are yelling and saying things about me and they have been yellinh since last night and theyre not good thingd and its loud and i dont like it and ims cared that this might lead to something else because its happened before and its not fun and i dont wanna deal with it rn

**Staniel the Maniel!:** shit richie

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** Take deep breaths.

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** Of course you can come over, you’re always welcome.

**Trashmouth:** ok im omw

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Okay, can I call you?

**Trashmouth:** pleasr do

_**Incoming call:** _

_**Staniel the Maniel! —— > Trashmouth** _

Richie accepted the call with shaky hands. His breaths were shallow, yet heavy at the same time. It sounded like he just ran ten miles, which of course, wasn’t the case. He put his phone up to his ear, and with an unsteady and raspy voice he spoke, “H-hey Stan the Man! What did you need?” 

Shouting could be heard in the background, though Stan couldn’t completely make out what they were saying. He heard fragments of certain sentences and questions, wincing when he heard Richie’s name along with a string of curses and slurs. “Hey Rich, I need you to take deep breaths and tell me what you see right now.” Stan replied in a soft voice that was filled with concern.

Richie inhaled, held his breath for three seconds, and then exhaled. He did this two more times before talking to Stan in a steadier voice, “I see my bed, I see my pillow, I see my blanket, I see my window- and oh God, I think that’s the only way I can leave the house right now.”

Stan hesitated before saying, “If that’s the only way, then please go out the window. Be careful, though. I will literally kill you if you die or break a bone or something.

”Got it.” Richie said, a tiny bit of excitement evident in his voice, “I gotta stick you in my pocket for a little bit, I’ll put you on speaker.”

“Yeah, okay, be careful.” Stan could hear some rustling before hearing the sound of the window opening.

”Cowabunga!” Richie shouted quietly, loud enough for Stan to hear, but not loud enough for his parents to hear. He followed up by pounding on his desk, trying to make it sound as if he jumped out and fell.

”Richie?” Stan called for him, worried.

”...Yeah?” Richie purposely made his voice sound weak.

“...Did you just jump out the window and fall?”

”No, I haven’t left my room yet. I was just messin’ with ya.” Richie said in between giggles.

Stan sighed, though he was relived that Richie was okay physically and seemingly better mentally and emotionally.

”Okay, I’m doing it for real now- Not jumping- I’m tired and stupid, but not that stupid.” Richie explained while he looked out the window.

”You can do it. Be careful.”

”Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine.” Richie rolled his eyes with a slight smile as he began climbing out. His house was unfortunately two-story, and getting out was proving to be difficult. “I don’t really know how I’m supposed to do thi- AH FUCK!” He shouted before falling in a conveniently placed bush.

Stan heard Richie curse and the sound of leaves rustling and couldn’t help but laugh. “Are- are you okay?” he asked in between laughs.

“You sadistic bitch.” Richie said with faux anger before laughing as well, “I’m okay, nothing’s broken- I think.”

”You better pray that nothing’s broken. I said I would kill you, and I plan on following through with that.”

”Terrifying!” Richie chuckled softly. He got out of the bush and dusted the leaves off of his body before he began walking towards Stan’s house. “Oh yeah, uh- Stan?” he hesitated before asking quietly.

”Yeah?” Stan answered catiously.

”Can you maybe not tell the other Losers about me and my family? Everyone has their own stuff going on and I don’t really wanna make a big deal out of it or ruin the vibe or something like that.”

”I won’t tell anyone, but please know that you don’t have to bottle everything up all the time. You’re allowed to have your down moments just like everyone else. You’re allowed to cry. We all love you and care about you so much that we could never see you as a burden or whatever you’re thinking. I know that you always feel the need to be happy around us, whether it’s genuine or not, but you really don’t have to. Having problems or sad moments that you need help with doesn’t make you weak or a burden, it makes you human. Plus, we’re always willing to comfort you, give you advice, or help if we can.”

“Richie stayed silent for a few moments before speaking quietly, tears pricking the corner of his eyes, “Yeah... Thank you, Stanny.”

”I’m just speaking the truth, dumbass. We love you. I love you. For real.” Stan spoke sternly yet softly.

“...Right. I love you too.” Richie responded in a soft and quiet voice that was very unlike his usual personality.

They had a few moments of silence before Richie announced his arrival “Uh- I’m here.”

”Gotcha, I’ll be there in a few seconds. Hang up?”

”Yeah.”

_**Call Ended** _

(9:38 AM, Saturday)

_** stan lee ——> Hypochondriac ** _

**stan lee:** Richie’s at my house right now and he’s currently asleep.

**Hypochondriac:** ok thank you again stan

**stan lee:** No problem

**Hypochondriac:** actually

 **Hypochondriac:** can i come over too?

 **Hypochondriac:** my mom’s being a bitch and i wanna get out of here

 **Hypochondriac:** plus i’m worried about richie

**stan lee:** Sure, text me when you get here.

**Hypochondriac:** ok

(9:41 AM, Saturday)

_**The Losers Club** _

**Mike Hanlon:** did richie actually go to sleep?

 **Mike Hanlon:** he just kinda “:)” and didn’t say anything else

**Stanley Uris:** [sleepingdumbass.png]

(picture description: richie is sleeping on stan’s bed, curled up and hugging a light brown teddy bear. he has pretty big eye bags and his eyes are slightly puffy, but he looks really peaceful and soft. he also has a small leaf stuck in his hair.)

**Beverly Marsh:** AWWWWWWW

**Bill Denbrough:** awww he looks so soft

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** FUCK WHY DOES HE LOOK CUTE

**Bill Denbrough:** lol gay

**Stanley Uris:** ^

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** shut up i didn’t ask you

**Mike Hanlon:** i’m really glad he’s getting sleep, but is he ok?

**Ben Hanscom:** yeah he looks adorable but he doesnt look super well if that makes any sense at all

 **Ben Hanscom:** did something happen?

**Stanley Uris:** He told me not to tell anyone, and I’m going to respect that.

 **Stanley Uris:** He should be okay for now, though.

 **Stanley Uris:** He’s at my house, and I’m not planning on letting him leave until everything gets better.

**Ben Hanscom:** awww i hope everything gets better soon

 **Ben Hanscom:** give him a hug for me please :(

**Beverly Marsh:** me too :((

**Mike Hanlon:** me three :( <3

**Bill Denbrough:** me 4 :(

**Stanley Uris:** Will do

**Beverly Marsh:** im surprised eddie didnt add to that

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** bitch i’m almost at stan’s house and i do not want to walk into a tree

 **Eddie Kaspbrak:** also hi stan i’m here now

**Stanley Uris:** Okay, I’ll be there in a second.

**Beverly Marsh:** theyre having a party without us smh

**Stanley Uris:** I’m sorry :(

 **Stanley Uris:** I would invite you guys, but I don’t want to overwhelm Richie.

 **Stanley Uris:** Eddie is the only exception because his mom was being a bitch.

 **Stanley Uris:** Plus, you know how Richie is with Eddie. They- :)

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** what does that even mean

**Beverly Marsh:** nonono stan its ok i completely understand i was just kidding no need to apologize 

**Beverly Marsh:** also yeah they- :)

**Stanley Uris:** Sjdjjskfksjfjs sorry for misinterpreting, I’m just a bit stressed.

**Bill Denbrough:** stan its ok you dont need to say sorry 🥺🥺

**Mike Hanlon:** you’re doing great, stan <3

**Stanley Uris:** Thank you <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i like how this chapter turned out? not really but 🦶
> 
> also hi i love stozier friendship


	3. baha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was pretty delayed woops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt proofread this so i apologize ahead of time

(11:33 AM, Saturday)

_**BDSM without the D** _

**(M)ikey:** hi stan, is everyone ok?

**(B)illy:** ^^ how are riche and eddie??

**(S)tanny:** [richieandeddiecuddling.png]

 **(S)tanny:** Richie woke up for around thirty minutes, and we talked it over with Eddie. During that time, we also talked about Eddie and his mom. They both got tired and went back to sleep.

 **(S)tanny:** Also, they straight up said “no homo” before cuddling with each other and falling asleep I- 🗿 

**(S)tanny:** Da Nile really isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? :/

**(B)illy:** KDKSJDKSJDJSKJDSK

**(M)ikey:** STANFJSKSJAKJDAKJD I-

 **(M)ikey:** ANYWAY

 **(M)ikey:** that’s good! richie definitely looks a lot better!!

**(B)illy:** yeah!!

 **(B)illy:** how about you stan?

**(S)tanny:**????

 **(S)tanny:** What do you mean?

**(B)illy:** are you doing ok?

**(M)ikey:** ^^ i remember you saying that you were stressed in the group chat

**(S)tanny:** Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t know how to fix Richie’s problem, and that made me feel pretty shitty on top of the fact that I didn’t notice sooner.

 **(S)tanny:** Eddie being here has helped, though. Richie thankfully felt comfortable enough to tell him what happened, and I’m really proud of him for that.

**(B)illy:** its not your responsibility to fix everything stan

 **(B)illy:** depending on how severe it is, just being there for him should be enough

**(S)tanny:** It’s really bad, Bill. I still don’t really know what to do. Richie says to just leave it be and that he’s fine, but I don’t think I can.

**(B)illy:** shit im really worried now :(

**(M)ikey:** well, no matter what, you’re trying your hardest, stan, and i’m sure richie appreciates that a lot

 **(M)ikey:** richie tends to hide stuff from us and bottle things up, so i’m really just glad that he’s getting the comfort and support that he deserves

 **(M)ikey:** please just let us know if there’s anything we can do for you guys

**(B)illy:** yeah we wanna help if we can

 **(B)illy:** you guys are all really important to me and i want you all to be as happy as possible

**(S)tanny:** I’ll let you guys know.

 **(S)tanny:** Thank you, I mean it.

**(M)ikey:** of course! <3

**(B)illy:** were here for you bb <3

**(S)tanny:** I am going to ignore the fact that you said “bb” just because I’m feeling soft right now.

**(B)illy:** :)

**(S)tanny:** :/

 **(S)tanny:** <3

**(M)ikey:** “:/ <3” he did it again

**(S)tanny:** SHUT UPSKDKDJDKSKF

**(M)ikey:** :)

(11:51 AM, Saturday)

_**The Losers Club** _

**Beverly Marsh:** i am v temoted to change our names but i suppose i will wait for richie

**Mike Hanlon:** temoted

**Stanley Uris:** “temoted”

**Bill Denbrough:** temoted

**Ben Hanscom:** temoted

**Beverly Marsh:** BEN YOU TOO

 **Beverly Marsh:** im hurt :’(

**Ben Hanscom:** as you should be

**Beverly Marsh:** :(

**Mike Hanlon:** hi hurt, i’m dad :)

**Bill Denbrough:** mike ily

**Mike Hanlon:** bill ilyt

**Richie Tozier:** lmao these bitches gay

 **Richie Tozier:** good for them though

**Beverly Marsh:** RICHIE

**Bill Denbrough:** RICHIW

**Mike Hanlon:** RICHIE

**Ben Hanscom:** RICHIE!!

**Stanley Uris:** The beast has awaken.

**Richie Tozier:** YES HELLO I AM AWAKE AND MY VIBE HAS IMPROVED

 **Richie Tozier:** ALSO

_**Richie Tozier has changed their name to "the beast".** _

**the beast:** ty for the idea stanthony

**Stanley Uris:** :/

**the beast:** yeah now send the heart

**Stanley Uris:** No.

**the beast:** :(

**Stanley Uris:** :)

_**Richie Tozier has changed Stanley Uris's name to "Satan".** _

**Satan:** I am actually okay with this.

 **Satan:** Also, I appreciate you always capitalizing my contact name. It honestly calms my OCD sometimes.

**the beast:** that was the plan!!

 **the beast:** im glad! :))

**Beverly Marsh:** richie being soft is so weird to me what

**Ben Hanscom:** it's cute!

**Satan:** Richie is actually always soft.

**Bill Denbrough:** true!!

**the beast:** STOP EXPOSINF ME

**Mike Hanlon:** richie is the beast (haha get it like "the best" but his name is "the beast" so it's like a pun)

**Bill Denbrough:** thank you for explaining it mike i wouldnt have gotten it otherwise

**Mike Hanlon:** i can't tell if that's sarcasm or not

**Satan:** It's not.

**Bill Denbrough:** its not

 **Bill Denbrough:** STAN HOW DID YOU KNOW

**Satan:** I'm psychic.

**Bill Denbrough:** WOA REALLY

**Satan:** SFJHDFKHDSKJF NO YOU'RE JUST DUMB AND I FIGURED THAT YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS.

**Bill Denbrough:** this is slander >:(

**the beast:** are you guys done being gay

 **the beast:** i have name ideas but i dont wanna interrupt

**Satan:** First of all, WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME GAY, I'M LITERALLY ONE OF THE ONLY STRAIGHT PEOPLE IN THIS GROUP???

 **Satan:** Secondly, yeah we're done. Go ahead.

**Beverly Marsh:** i love how the hets are the minority in this group

**the beast:** ^

 **the beast:** N E WAY

 **the beast:** ITS TIME

 **the beast:** ANYONE FEEL FREE TO HOP IN AT ANYTIME

 **the beast:** IM LOOKING AT YOU BEVVY

**Beverly Marsh:** SIR YES SIR

_**Beverly Marsh has changed Ben Hanscom’s name to “BABEY”.** _

**BABEY:** wh

**Bill Denbrough:** fax no printer <3

**BABEY:** i love you all <33

_**the beast has changed Mike Hanlon’s name to “dad”.** _

**the beast:** JDKSJFJSJFJSK WAIT

_**the beast has changed dad’s name to “daddy”.** _

**daddy:** NO

_**daddy has changed their name to “dad”.** _

**the beast:** BAHAHAHAJAJJDAHH

**Bill Denbrough:** lmao baha

 **Bill Denbrough:** like the tacos

**Satan:** BILL, IT’S BAJA, NOT BAHA.

**Bill Denbrough:** OH

 **Bill Denbrough:** WOOPSJKDKSJAJDJKAD

_**Beverly Marsh has changed Bill Denbrough’s name to “baha bill”.** _

**baha bill:** slander >:(

**dad:** as a wise man once said, “sucks to suck :)”

**baha bill:** HDJSJDJAJFJAKJDK

 **baha bill:** mike called me wise guys 🥺

 **baha bill:** WOA THAT RYMED

**the beast:** GAYS

**Beverly Marsh:** lol bill spelled rhymed wrong

 **Beverly Marsh:** hes iliterit

**baha bill:** YOU CANT CALL ME ILLITERATE AND SPELL IT WRONG

**Beverly Marsh:** GAIDJAKDJAKDJAK SHUT UP IT LOOKED RIGHT TO ME IN THE MOMENT

_**the beast changed Beverly Marsh’s name to “iliterit”.** _

**iliterit:** FUCJ YOU

**the beast:** yes fuck me ;)

 **the beast:** i mean what

**iliterit:** thats eddies job

**the beast:** THATS A GOOD ONE BUT SHHHH AHUT UP

**BABEY:** i can’t tell what’s more cursed

 **BABEY:** the fact that bev just exposed richie or the fact that she basically implied richie would bottom in reddie

**dad:** reddie?

**BABEY:** thats richie’s and eddie’s names squished together

**dad:** cute!

**iliterit:** thats adorable

**baha bill:** did richie die

**Satan:** He did! Good Riddance!!

 **Satan:** Since he’s not answering, I will. Richie Tozier would definitely bottom, he told me himself.

**the beast:** WTF

 **the beast:** NO I DIDNT?????

**iliterit:** silence bottom

**the beast:** THIS IS FAKE NEWS

 **the beast:** DO NOT BELIEVE HIM

**Satan:** :)

**the beast:** BITCH

**baha bil:** are you calling stan a liar :0

**the beast:** WELL IM NOT CALLING HIM A TRUTHER

**Satan:** I’m literally always right.

**iliterat:** ^ he is

**dad:** it’s true

**the beast:** FUVK YOU GUYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not even i know whether stan is a liar or a truther


	4. barbie princess charm school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone’s names in case you forgot!:  
> ben: BABEY  
> bev: iliterit  
> bill: baha bill  
> eddie: Eddie Kaspbrak  
> mike: dad  
> richie: the beast  
> stan: Satan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey its me, the ceo of procrastination, this chapter was v delayed and i dont think anyone was waiting on it but like 😳 woops

(Saturday, 2:57 PM)

_**The Losers Club** _

**the beast:** [ladyroyalseddieandstan.png]

(picture description: eddie and stan are sitting in front of the tv with their legs crisscrossed. they’re watching barbie princess charm school and they’re both very invested in it)

 **the beast:** i went back to sleep and i wake up to THIS

 **the beast:**????? WHAT

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** SHUT UP IT’S A GOOD MOVIE

**Satan:** YEAH.

 **Satan:** ALSO, WE’RE PRINCESSES, NOT LADY ROYALS.

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** FACTS ^

**iliterit:** my 2 favorite twinks bonding over a barbie movie <3

**Satan:** I’M NOT??? A TWINK?????

**BABEY:** you kinda are

**Satan:** WHY IS BEN GOING OFF ON EVERYONE TODAY???? I-

**BABEY:** :)

**dad:** ben’s a savage

**BABEY:** ew who still says savage

**dad:** me

**iliterit:** mike

**the beast:** mike

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** mike

**Satan:** Mike.

**BABEY:** that’s kinda yikes :/

**dad:** that’s it

 **dad:** i’m taking away your babey status

**_dad changed BABEY’s name to “savage”._ **

**savage:** fair enough

 **savage:** anyway yeah as i was saying

 **savage:** stan is absolutely a twink

**Satan:** I’M NOT!

**dad:** you do give off twink energy, buddy

**Satan:** HOW??

**dad:** even though you’re straight, you really do look like a twink

 **dad:** you sort of dress like one too

 **dad:** like a preppy one

 **dad:** you also just have that twink body type

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** as a certified twink i can say that yeah stan is kind of a twink

**the beast:** eds is calling himself a twink but like he do be kinda muscular 😳😳

**iliterit:** a little

**the beast:** have YOU SEEN HIS CALVES

 **the beast:** theyre not just A LITTLE muscular

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** WJSKSKSKAKFJAK BEEP BEEP

 **Eddie Kaspbrak:** SHUT UP RICHIE

**baha bill:** i come back to richie being gay on main

 **baha bill:** wow perfect

**the beast:** HAHA WOOPS SORRY

**Satan:** WHAT?

**baha bill:** WJAT

**iliterit:** WHAT

**savage:** WHAT!

**dad:** WHAT

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** WAIT WHAT

**Satan:** RICHARD ELIZABETH TOZIER APOLOGIZING????

 **Satan:** (NOT CLICKBAIT)

**the beast:** i really do be out of it today 😔😔

 **the beast:** BUT ALSO FUCK YOU IVE SAID SORRY BEFORE

**iliterit:** YEAH BUT USUALLY ONLY WHEN ITS REALLY SERIOUS OR IT TIES INTO YOUR “JOKE”

**the beast:** BITCH WHYD YOU PUT JOKE IN QUOTES

**iliterit:** because theyre not funny :)

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** HAHAHAHAJDK TRUE

**Satan:** Shut up, Eddie.

 **Satan:** You like Richie’s jokes.

 **Satan:** Fuckin’ gayass

**dad:** AIDIAJJFKAFJD STAN

 **dad:** it’s true though 😳😳

 **dad:** he does 😳

**baha bill:** ^ 😳😳

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** NO I DON’T TF

**the beast:** awww eds 😍😍

 **the beast:** might as well make you the beauty to my beast <3

_**the beast has changed Eddie Kaspbrak’s name to “beauty”.** _

**beauty:** SHUT THE FUCJ YP

**savage:** fucj yp

**baha bill:** fucj yp

**the beast:** fucj yp

**iliterit:** fucj yp

**Satan:** “fucj yp”

**beauty:** i hate this fucking family

**the beast:** no you dont :)

**beauty:** no i don’t 😔😔

**Satan:** Can you two stop being gay and just watch Barbie Princess Cham School with me? I swear to God, I just want to watch Blair find out she’s Princess Sophia.

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** your jewish but ok

**Satan:** You’re*

**Eddie Kaspbrak:** FUCK OFF

**iliterit:** goodbye twinks + richie :)

 **iliterit:** have fun!!1!

**Satan:** I’M NOT A TWINK, FUCK YOU.

**baha bill:** whyre you so against it 😔😔

 **baha bill:** just accept the truth honey

 **baha bill:** are you twinkphobic or something :((

**iliterit:** GSHSIJSKDKDKF TWINKPHOBIC

**the beast:** “honey” ;)

**baha bill:** I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT SHUT UONSJDKDJFKS

**Satan:** w

**savage:** did he die?

**the beast:** BAHAJAJSJSK

(Saturday, 3:48 PM)

_**Trashmouth —— > Staniel the Maniel!** _

**Trashmouth:** fuckin tomato lookin gayass

**Staniel the Maniel!:** SHUT UP.

**Trashmouth:** ok “het”

**Staniel the Maniel!:** I AM STRAIGHT

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** PROBABLY

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** YEAH I AM

**Trashmouth:** you lit rally started blushing because bill called you honey but go off ig

**Staniel the Maniel!:** I WAS BLUSHING BECAUSE OF SOMETHING ELSE

**Trashmouth:** WHAT

**Staniel the Maniel!:** UH

 **Staniel the Maniel!:** BLAIR WILLOWS, THE LOTTERY GIRL

**Trashmouth:** JAKAKFJSKNFKSJFKE

 **Trashmouth:** I KNOW THATS A LIE BUT I WONT PUSH ANYMORE

 **Trashmouth:** JUST KNOW THAT IF YOU REALLY LIKE GUYS ITS OK, THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, AND YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT IT IF YOU WANT TO

**Staniel the Maniel!:** I honestly don’t think I like boys, but thank you anyway. <3

**Trashmouth:** A HEART WITHOUT THE “:/“ OMG

 **Trashmouth:** <33

**Staniel the Maniel!:** Shut up and watch the movie now, dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short sorry 🗿
> 
> n e way stream barbie princess charm school and stan blair willows for clear skin


End file.
